Wisdom’s Pearls



… is the motto of a female gem named The DIAMOND Coach
(The DIAMOND Coach) and applies here so well. 2009 was painful for
millions, myself included.  A non-economy produced by minds deciding
there wasn’t enough to go around are flights of fancy ill afforded this year.
Hunger, empty pockets and depression were baggage collectively carried
in ’09.  Pain either is a hammock upon which ones ambition lies or a
trampoline springing you toward new achievement.

Pain is also a Divine hint that you need to stop habits producing intense
discomfort.  The DIAMOND Coach’ motto placed extra focus on my pain
into passionate enterprise record these 43 years: freelance writer/poet; free-
lance crime fighter; inspirational speaker; security consultant; safety rights
activist; real life superhero, etc. the beat goes on, energized by dreams and

Anthony Robbins built an empire transforming pain into power.  Between
him and The DIAMOND Coach are mental life times of life changing
advice.  I’m hungry to live my dreams and pain sometimes factors into this
equation.  It comes in various flavors:  sour pain from obstacles
encountered; bitter pain after disrespect is experienced and red-hot pain
when your best simply won’t produce desired results. Pain is a menu I
meditate and pray to avoid.  Its lesser forms gently remind just how pain-free
lives spent in Spirit can become.  More intense varieties of pain hasten this
embrace back to the Source of ultimate healing.  Staying in tune with Spirit
is the goal to triumphing over pain.

2009 was when I met this life coach named The DIAMOND Coach.
Wednesdays @ 9PM EST, we’re on (Problem Solvers Unlimited), online
show as Stephen Biko’s on regular guests.  Soaking up such radiance and hard
won wisdom helps my crusade immensely.  God isn’t stingy with talent,
and gems like this sister are worth taking time to hear and read.  Her motto,
” Turning Pain into a Passionate Enterprise” has redoubled efforts to make
2010 pain free and more productive.  That’s the value of a life coach who
has lived what she teaches.

“Turning Pain Into Passionate Enterprise” needs to be everyone’s motto!

NADRA ENZI AKA CAPT. BLACK promotes crime prevention and
self-development through his daily CRIME ISN’T A CIVIL RIGHT!
presentation which explores every possible reason for explaining how lack
of identity and negative cultures create criminals.  nadracaptblack@ymail.com
and (912) 272-2898.



You will never find it if you seek it. You will never find it if you run
after it. You will never find it if your intention is in seeing the beauty
of the earth, in seeing the light on the water, in seeing the perfect
line of a mountain, and you hope through seeing, to find that. You will
never find it because you cannot find that through anything, through
your sacrifice, through your worship, through your meditation, through
your virtue. You will never come upon it because your motive is all
wrong, because you want to find that, not in living, but somewhere else.
You must establish right relationship with man first, which means you
must know what it means to love, what it means to be compassionate,
what it means to be generous when you have a great deal, what it means
to share with another the little that you have, to establish this
marvelous order in living, daily living. – Krishnamurti in India



Most of you are insensitive physically because you overeat, smoke, indulge
in various forms of sensual delights—not that you should not. But the  mind
becomes dull that way, and when the mind becomes dull the body becomes
further dull. That is the pattern in which we have lived. You see how difficult
it is to change your diet. You are used to a particular form of diet and taste,
and you must have it all the time; if you do not get it you feel you will be ill,
and you get rather frightened. Physical habit breeds insensitivity; obviously
any habit like drugs, alcohol, or smoking must make the body insensitive,
and that affects the mind—the mind which is the totality of perception, the
mind which must see very clearly, unconfusedly, and in which there should
be no conflict whatsoever. Conflict is not only a waste of energy; it also
makes the mind dull, heavy, stupid. Such a mind caught in habit is insensitive;
from this insensitivity, this dullness, it will not accept anything new because
there is fear.   The Nature of the New Mind



“I want all of my senses to be engaged in this life.” Dr. Maya Angelou

The first time I read this quotation I froze.
Dr. Angelou’s words made me realize how often I was unnecessarily exposing
myself to an unhealthy environment and unhealthy relationships. I was not
experiencing fulfillment in life the way I thought I should. I felt like all of the
effervescence I enjoyed during my earlier years had been slowly drained from
me. My peers taught me that by pulling and tugging and taking, one could
achieve success. The vast presence of that ill-conceived notion crowded my
space, crippled my thoughts and led to my feelings of lifelessness. As a result
of the internal conflict and confusion, I had to examine my self and determine
my new path in life.

The following excerpt from the YES! Journal
written by my pen pal Troy Chapman states, “Whenever I catch myself thinking
of someone as an enemy I ask, what in me am I trying to avoid or distract myself
from? I find my own impotence, my own frustrations, my insignificance, and my
sense that nothing I do will ever really matter. Ultimately, I find my own self-absorption,
my resistance to setting myself aside and truly caring about the other. Do we engage
in battle in order to distract ourselves from the hard work of love and the bitter pill of
looking at ourselves? Or do we engage in battle out of a true love for goodness”? I
knew right then that this was a beginning for my senses to be engaged.

The Turnaround
My mother and I used to talk about my storms and she would often say get out.
Go. Leave! But I chose to stay, work in my community and give, give, and give of
myself, until the end. My end in my hometown had called me out. Like Chapman,
“Understanding community and my role in it was simply the next step in my own
healing. I wanted to know if the origins of my insanity were completely within myself
or was I at least in part, a product of a sick culture. Having confronted myself
thoroughly, I could not ask that question objectively, not looking for excuses or
trying to diminish my own accountability, but simply and sincerely, looking for truth”.

In 1995, WTCC, Wednesday Morning Vibe’s Starry Pic turned Destination Radio
and Black Enterprises’ Black Business Zone was born. This forum allowed me to
release a lot of stuff from my wounded soul in addition to sharing useful information
with the business community. Sharing information became an important duty
because I was able to shed light on many dark situations for others as well as for
my self.

I disengaged myself from many relationships or others have severed ties with me
too. Either way I hope that the separations prove beneficial for all parties. I know
that I am not above or below anyone, but I cannot settle into imbalanced and
directionless relationships. I grew tired of losing vitality and energy; feeling backed
against the wall and stagnated in my growth toward a higher mark. Living with the
above interferences disabled my ability to create and really BE in the world. The time
has come to detour off this road of distraction and destruction and find a new
direction. My journey might get bumpy, but the bumps represent the involvements
and/or illusions I must go through in the search for truth and self-development.

Living in the Pioneer Valley has truly been an
enlightening voyage. I can look back and say thank you to many people for
helping me to find and serve my purpose. Now, I have the desire to be embraced
by a culture of people with good character who warm me, and choose to live their
lives with purpose. The kind of purpose that goes forth in actions; producing action
that forms habits and habits that determines character; knowing that good character
can help you to reach your potential.

In life, we should choose to become better than where we started. We must experience
it all, the good, the bad, the ugly, and if we are lucky, the pinnacle of our success leading
to freedom. Only then can we truly relax in our own beautiful skin.


No one should give of himself or herself in an environment without moisture.
Ladies, you will develop burns, calluses, and scars from people who do not
have your best interest at heart. On the other hand should you experience being
treated as if you are unimportant they present valuable lessons you cannot learn
in a structured classroom.

These nuggets are the crème de la crème in your development as a person, a
mother, a woman, a friend and a lover. But you must pay attention to the delusions,
denials, illusions and traps set for us to fail, trip up or bottom line, be disrespected.
In every step of life there are many blessings.  You just have to be awake enough to
recognize them.




“When we don’t know the value of what’s given to us, we fail
to develop the sensitivity to recognize its worth.” Dr. Noah Manyika
How would you respond to the question: “What do you want?” When I
recently ran across that question, I found myself unable to answer it in a
way that really expresses what I feel. At first, I thought about a
bigger house, a Mercedes Benz, a million dollars, or a trip around the
world. Having these material blessings are indeed cool, but deep
down inside, I recognized that although marketers relentlessly entice
us with these external stocking stuffers, none of them ever fully satisfies
any void in our lives.

A better question may be: “What NEEDS TO BE DONE?”

* Think about how that question applies in your life. Each of us has at
least one thing that only we are best suited to do.

* What hidden part in your life is just waiting for you to discover?

* Have you chosen not to confront it because it is outside your comfort zone?

With so much depth to whom we are and why we do what we do, facing
answers to so many complex questions might seem to overwhelm us.
Considering these dimensions, might our constant curiosity actually be

Maybe God doesn’t want to overwhelm us with an answer to every
imaginable question. Perhaps He prefers instead an ongoing personal
relationship where He can give us moment-by-moment guidance for
an orderly and productive life.

Author Mark Batterson says: “Trials have a way of helping us rediscover
our purpose in life.” By cutting, shaping, molding, sanding, and polishing us,
God creates profound desires in us that overshadow any enticed taste for
possessions or status. His tough love instead calls us into courageous action.

God has placed within us a power to change the world under his guidance
as we gather information, formulate questions, and discover the answers
along the way. We can walk fearlessly under God’s Master plan.
Let us expand on the critical question: “WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE
to change our perspective and open our heart?” Answering this question
puts us on a road to recovery in valuing our material blessings.

As we think about the many areas of our lives that cry out for attention, material
things are usually not at the top of the list. Our incredible life lessons instead
reveal to us how we can serve one another, and not merely show off.

God’s love refocuses our thinking from how to WOW! I am on the path of
LIFE! Now I see what I am supposed to do. I see how I must serve.

Father, develop our character. Teach us to be patient. Help us to be loyal
and honest. Show us the way.

WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE in your life? In your marriage? In your
family? In your community? In your church? In your….



Whatever your pain is there is a reason she exists. She is there to inform you that you have
an appointment to make and to keep. Whether your pain is arrogance, fear, insecurities, or
low self-esteem, consider sitting down and embracing her without delay. Only then will you
be able to feel (heal) better. Below I’ve listed 5 reasons to embrace pain.


1. …is the best life makeover on the market. No one sells anything better to get us moving.

2. …forces you to hit the wall — hard!! Then, you realize you can recover from that TKO.

3. …draws you into fear’s arms, which encourages action and change. (Feeling pain is an
indicator that you are alive and can feel like’s sting)

4. …opens your heart. It is a beginning in eliminating the lies you tell yourself and others.

5. …allows you room to grow and then compels you to live fully alive and without apology.

What kind of story is your life telling the world? What kind of story is your business telling
the world? What are you really made of and how long will you hold on to that pain? When will
you begin to take control of your life? After all it totally belongs to you. Each time you decide
to address and change an area in your life that is not working, you replenish your mind and body
with the necessary vitamins it needs to function appropriately. Why not accept pain for what it is:
A reminder that where there is pain, there lies a reason to change.

diamond_illustrationJUST MOVE ON–GET OVER IT…

I once read an article stating, “For closure in a relationship you should
JUST MOVE ON when your ex says it’s over.” JUST MOVE ON, huh?
The article further stated that yes it sounds harsh and the discomfort will
not just go away, but over time you will GET OVER IT. I cannot comprehend
how you get over loving someone. (Do not make me go into detail) I have not
reached that level of understanding. Getting over love would mean it was not
LOVE in the first place. Oh! That could be that ‘people love’ I talk about. Just
fling people around at one’s leisure.

There are countless books, EXPERTS, and other people that would agree with
that statement, and have reworked the GET OVER IT message one thousand
times or more. I supposed perhaps that it is easier to shut down and resist our
feelings than deal with them at their core. Dealing with emotions would force
you to think and possibly improve your position. Addressing your flaws would
hold you accountable for your actions. Mmph. Now why would you want to do
that? Funny huh? Author Guy Finely said it perfectly. “Imagine how different life
would be if we understood that nothing happens to us that is not sent our way to
help us learn more about the eternal nature of love.”

Choosing to disregard a person is a cold and irresponsible way of handling a
delicate life. As the receiver of that fear how would that feel to you? Sure, some
people choose to walk away from a relationship for whatever reason, in silence.
Some lie their way out because the damage is done and they do not know what
else to do. Others become violent. And then there is that ½ percent that choose
to STAND and face adversity with a desire to learn and understand their errors.
That would be me. When I am stuck it is because I know that there is unfinished
business or unspoken thoughts left to address within. Any effort to reconnect
conveying all that you have learned and to learn from others if they would be
open to teach is reason to appeal to anyone who has wronged you or vice versa.

Our image reflects who we are. Is the image you have presented and are presenting
to others the one you want to leave with their Spirit? I would prefer to leave a
vibrant image of myself behind. What this message is really about is showing
respect, telling the truth, and valuing delicate human life. It is about cultivating
genuine friendships. I repeat, I learned the hard way.

It’s also about the next Spirit(s) that you decide to travel with internally. A soul
created with emotions—someone’s mother/father, sister/brother, auntie/uncle,
cousin/friend…etc. He/She is important to others. He/She deserves to be presented
with your best because what you present is all he/she has to go on. And when
someone takes time to show you love in any form, it is better to communicate
your honest feelings even when they are not mutual, that way messages are clear.
After all we are not here to crush each others Spirits, we were intended to inspire
and hold each other up on our shoulders. I am telling you something I know to be
true. I am a very intuitive woman.


Our journey’s are not bridged together overnight. We detour, go left and right,
in circles, and turn corners before we come to any understanding. Terrence Howard
stated in an article, “I have to look at people a little longer and dig a little deeper
and see where their heart is. From perception comes understanding and that leads
to a road of wisdom. But even that is tempered with a bit of fear.” I can relate. I care
for people out of instruction, knowing, and out of pure love. And the only way I am
able to do this consistently is because I believe in God’s power, I believe in you, and
I believe in me. Give someone a chance. Better yet, give yourself a chance to truly
enter one of lifes’ greatest mysteries, LOVE.



For two years, I was dying inside. At 42 years of age and 165 pounds of solid muscle,
my arteries and chest wall lined with disease and inflammation was killing me softly. My
doctor said, “You have the worst case of heart disease I’ve ever seen in a woman your age.”
How is that for a wake up call? A real blessing.

Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I think about my girlfriend Raimunda, who passed in 05
of complications with lupus three years after the diagnoses. I think of my good friend Tony, who
died in the same year in a horrific car accident. I think of Audrey, who passed in her late 30’s after
suffering from Kidney failure. I could name so many more of my friends and other people who
have passed too soon and I ask God why am I still here? Look at the quality of my life now. Yes,
let’s look at the quality of life.

A Light…
I didn’t know what to do after my surgery. I was depressed because it seemed my healing took
longer than I desired. I refused the depression medication because I was taking enough pills already.
The vision of stocked medicine cabinets back in the day is now my reality. I’ll be honest with you,
the twists and turns that take place in our lives can be devastating. However, for me, these last four
years have been engaging, educational, hard and painful, yet eye opening. Mary J. Blige sings it best:
It feels like joy, it feels rain, feels like sunshine, and it feels like pain; an excuse for dying, a reason
to live, if you don’t know, that’s what love is. Let me explain.

The Truth…
I am supposed to be here. I am still here because I needed to learn something about myself that I
didn’t recognize before. And of all things to miss: I did not love myself. Yes, I said it. I did not love
myself the way I love myself today. I believed what others taught to me to believe about myself. With
no evidence to show my so call truth was law, I imitated everyone else’s operation. That life however,
WAS NOT for ME. We cannot operate authentically on someone else’s journey. Their journey is not
your journey. And if you think fronting, laughing, and standing in an adversarial stance is hiding your
pain, think again.

Today, love stands tall before me without flinching. She won’t move out of the way when I try to go
around her, she won’t let me pass, jump over her or get in my own way. Love commands that I stand
and acknowledge her presence NOW. Guess what? Now is all I have. It’s all we have.

The Purpose…
You may wonder what my purpose for sharing this message is. It’s LOVE. I am constantly
discovering more about myself. MY HEART is full and thumping strong in the right direction. Now,
I seek significance not satisfaction. No wonder others couldn’t see the essence of me. How could they
if I didn’t see it myself.

So, I’m curious, do you really love yourself? How do you know? Where is the evidence? -What can
you learn about yourself from my story?

Life has taught me that what goes up must come down. And what’s down and out can rise up and
above again.

I enjoy living, learning, and loving. The more I learn and love about myself, transfers to the way I
relate to you.

“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone; it had to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.”

Ursula Le Guin

5 Responses to “Wisdom’s Pearls”

  • Hi First time hopped right here on your website, found on Google. Thanks for your response. I really respect the recommendation you gave me. It can assist us by way of our journey together. Hope you and yours have a happy Day.

  • blog however I assume its too general and I need to focus on additional smaller topics. Being all things to all or any folks isn’t all that its cracked up to be.

  • You’re absolutely correct Alene. Not only is being all things to all people not all that its cracked up to be, it is insane to want to be all things to all folks. Wasted energy. Give thanks for stopping by and sharing your important perspective. 😉

  • Hello! Just wondering if anyone can help me get rid of some extra weight? What would you recommend? Ive tried most things and nothing works 🙁

  • Hello Rosalyn, Yes. My friend & colleague has had great results with P90X. But says regardless of what program she uses, she is BIG on lifting weights, cardio is only about 20 minutes 3 times per week. I strongly recommend strength training for women. Tone muscle, lose fat.

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